I cannot stand the ridicule because many are everyday good guys trying their best in a world full of nonsense and mixed messages and choas coming at him from every direction. Narcissism is very obvious to spot. This “covert” narcissism is a bit of a stretch because alot of it just boils down to people not appreciating the complexities of society, interpersonal communication, and everything else that starts with “socio-“. We don’t have to make everything more intellectual or convoluted than it has to be. Alot of men, are simply bad communicators and are struggling with understanding the world around them. Now add in the extra pressure of being labeled a covert narcissist when all he wants is what everyone wants…. to be understood and appreciated. Life for “nice” men is a grind. It is literally like being kicked in the gut day in and day out by this society. We are pressured to be “strong, virile men who take charge” but then have to be beat up with “toxic masculinity” and then add in trying to understand dating/love in an era where there is constant societal evolution in gender roles and the desires of women. It’ll drive a guy bat$h!+ crazy LOL. Alot of guys these days just feel like they can’t win no matter what they do. And probably can’t. The key to this comes down to a collection of traits called the “dark triad”. These are defined as Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. If you think about the assholes you know, you can probably see these traits.
Now here’s the problem. Those traits evolved and subsequently stayed in the gene pool for a specific reason, *they conferred a benefit*. It’s easy to see humans now and think of them as always being technologically advanced and living in organized society on a large scale but that couldn’t be further from the truth. During the considerable period during which humans existed in small groups and tribes the assholes were seen as strong, fit to lead, and dominant over the other males precisely *because they had this dark triad*. As times changed and humanity advanced these traits rapidly became more useless. While there are still some successful people with alpha male status in a vast majority of cases it’s no longer beneficial. In the US we’ve transitioned to a knowledge and financial economy for example, this is a situation where betas rule. With financial clout and mental faculties a male in the modern era provides considerably more for a woman than an alpha, but it doesn’t mater, because adaptation does not work that fast. Nonetheless, women still find it appealing, think of it as an evolutionary holdover from times when these traits were truly beneficial. Women will always favor alpha males because hundreds of thousands of years of evolution has taught them to do so.